Flipping the Script on Teachers Day (2021-05-14)

In the morning, I posted my Korea Times column complaining about, among many things, gift-givers.

I wasn't complaining about all people who give gifts. I was complaining about people who go around looking for people to give gifts to and don't really consider if it is something the recipient really wants.

Then a short time later, the two North Korean refugee staffers gave teacher's day gifts to me and Eunkoo.

They were saved by Eunkoo, who made it clear to them that I am a very picky gift recipient. Taking me to lunch or giving me a common gift that I could buy at the bakery or convenience store down the street would not satisfy me. So they thought a bit more deeply and came up with some unexpected gifts!

* Rice cakes in the shape of carnations, made by a North Korean refugee that one of the staffers knows. I had never seen such things before. The ladies in the office loved them so much so I ended up giving away most of the rice cakes to them!

* A small standing photo board with my photo on it. I would have preferred a group photo with them, but I will take it!

* A lovely hand-written note with so many compliments that it seemed that Eben Appleton had drafted it.

* $100 in cash!

* And yes, a flower... they know I have already made it clear that I am a manly man who doesn't accept flowers. They gave Eunkoo a bunch, and one single flower for me.

Thoughtful gift-giving can be great! They are excellent gifters (yes, I made up the word!). Gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving, without considering the recipient, is what leads to so many gifts being re-gifted during Christmas and trashed on Valentine's Day and birthdays.

Years ago, I started telling people to stop giving me gifts, and instead to donate it to my non-profit. Why?

1) I was tired of receiving lousy gifts from people who clearly didn't know me and my picky tastes.

2) I received a thoughtful gift so incredible a few years ago that I don't need more gifts, especially from gift-givers randomly handing out gifts they think are cute.

I did everything I could to discourage the staffers from giving me a gift, I told them that I would be out of the office on Friday (that was partly true). Then when they realized I would be at the office in the morning they then continued with their plans.

Next, they want to thank me by taking me out to lunch on Monday. But I already have my counter-strategy ready!

* * *

POTENTIAL AUTHOR

I then had an incredible four-hour meeting with a potential North Korean refugee author. It was one of the best meetings I have ever had. I hope the refugee will be able to finish the book.

* * *

REVERSE ROBBERY

Later, a North Korean refugee author who has published a book in Korean visited the office to meet us. We are basically a start-up when it comes to book publishing, and therefore we probably aren't at her level.

We had a great chat. She gave and signed copies of her book to us.

I couldn't allow that! She worked for a year and a half on the book, got it published, and she was giving us freebies. So I went to my desk, returned with money covering the sale price of the book.

She refused to receive it.

I refused to receive the money in return.

It was like fighting over the check at a restaurant.

I was ready to commit a reverse robbery--open her purse and put the money inside it! Finally, she took the money after I explained that when I co-edited a book years ago, a lot of friends were asking me for free copies.

But before she left, I checked the area around our table to make sure she hadn't left the money or hidden it.

When you are an author, unfortunately too many friends expect/want a free copy of your book. Instead of taking a free copy, your friends should not only insist on buying a copy of your book, but should buy multiple copies and ask others to buy a copy too!

So many books fail, authors need at least the people around them to help with promoting and buying the book.

It would be great if Freedom Speakers International could publish her book, if we had enough people around us ready to buy the book then we could make a great argument to publishers about the demand for refugee books. I thought to tell her that we could publish the English version of the book, but I didn't have confidence that enough people around us would be willing to buy the book.

* * *

POTENTIAL PUBLIC SPEAKER

The final meeting of the day was a meeting with a former student who wanted to learn more about our new focus on public speaking. It was a frank discussion, as we discussed the pros and the cons of her becoming a public speaker.

After that, Eunkoo, Yena and I worked past midnight getting ready for the "What Freedom Means to Me" conference starting at 1 pm.

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Flipping the script in discussions (koreatimes.co.kr)

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