Naked News of the Day

I've been coughing and sneezing for a few days...

my colleagues convinced me to go to a hospital nearby, to get a shot. Of course, it wasn't going to be in my arm.

It was going to be in the butt-ocks.

The nurse on duty was more embarrassed than I was. I'm sure she had a story to tell her friends and family!

It started at the front desk when I amazed them by speaking in Korean. Not very good Korean, probably very difficult to understand Korean, but still enough Korean for them to understand that I was catching a cold and needed a shot.

Everything I said seemed to amuse everyone in the office.

First, we had to determine if I was supposed to take off my pants completely or not. Then, was I supposed to get on the table or not.

I was on the table, waiting for the shot. I asked, "아파요?" Meaning, "Will it hurt?" She laughed, saying it would not. I'll assume she was laughing at me for using the present rather than the future tense.

Anyway, I reminded her, "조심하세요!" "Be careful!" She laughed again.

She then administered the shot, then slapped my butt and rubbed it. I was going to ask "why" or to say "don't touch like that!" but decided to wait...

She stopped but didn't say anything. I asked, "끝났어요?" Meaning, "Is it over?"

Then it wasn't just the nurses laughing. I heard the doctor on the other side of the curtain also laughing.

I went to the front desk, took a picture of the two nurses then said good-bye.

Unfortunately, for the world and my enemies, there is no video from the visit...

* * *

Speaking of Naked News...

According to the Korea Herald: "After all of the circus hoopla and controversy surrounding the launch of the Korean version of the Naked News franchise, its existence now hangs by a pithy thread as production came to a screeching halt since July 23 - just one month after its inception. The problem? Money."

"Nine of the anchors have yet to be paid for their work during the month the service has been up, while the channel has ceased operations, leaving 260,000 paid subscribers hanging, according to local reports.

"The problem began when management of the Naked News Korea branch requested its anchors contracted to present news semi-nude - in lingerie and bikini tops - to strip down completely for its pay-for-play adults-only version."

I recently commented on a report that 98 percent of Korean workers fired recently are women.

* * *

Facial Massage

After starting the day with a shot in the butt, I ended it with a facial massage at a place in the Jamsil area. It was a free offer for my colleagues. I understand enough Korean that I caught on to what the visitors were offering.

So I got in on it. One of the tough things about not speaking and understanding the language is that I'm sure that I miss out on free stuff and good deals all of the time.

For more than an hour I got my face massaged and got one of those masks put on it. I did ask them to snap some photos of myself. I knew this would be a one-and-done deal for me.

Don't bother asking, I'm not posting the photos online. I will still do some public speaking in America, I'd hate to be speaking at a forum and have one of my critics include the shots in his or her Powerpoint presentation.

* * *

North Korean propaganda, from the South

As I mentioned yesterday, if I believe the South Korean media then South Korea is crumbling.

North Korea apparently has also taken notice:

"North Korean state TV has aired South Korean footage edited to highlight social and economic problems in the far richer South in a rare move apparently aimed at quashing rumors among the North's impoverished people that the rival country is better off.

"Shabby houses in slum areas, the homeless and jobless, and citizens expressing grievances toward the government were shown in 10 minutes of footage broadcast Wednesday night and monitored by The Associated Press in Seoul. The clip was culled from South Korean TV programs and logos of southern networks like KBS and MBC were visible on screen."

Next, North Korea may report that South Korean women in their 50s are suffering from stress. This is in addition to recent stories about the country's low birthrate, kids insulting their parents, Korean males wanting to run away from home.

* * *

I (Still) Believe North Korea!

No matter what the South Korean media says about the seized South Korean boat, I will believe the North Korean version of events. Here's a slightly controversial article I published back in 1997 about North Korea always telling the truth.

I posted it on a leftist discussion group back in 1997. I may still be getting letters from people who want me to know I'm not that great of a guy and that I'm not very intelligent. Those are not the exact words they used, by the way...

* * *

More Golden Arches, not Food Aid

I'll buy a Big Mac meal (or a Southwest Salad) for the first person who can show me a country where there is both (1) hunger and (2) McDonald's restaurants.

I mention that because today's Korea Times has an AFP piece reporting that: "World Falling Short on Emergency Food Aid."

Emergency Food? Can you beat McDonald's when it comes to emergency food? You can eat hot food for $1. In South Korea, I can eat Kimbab and other Korean food 24 hours a day.

The intro to the story: "The United Nations food aid agency said Wednesday it will be forced to cut programs even as hunger soars amid the global economic crisis because pledged donations have failed to materialize."

Governments are always trying to figure out how to feed their people. My suggestions: (1) reduce barriers to agricultural imports (2) welcome companies like McDonald's.

That is, if they really want their people to eat. If not, carry on as before waiting for food drops.